Dolly Parton has been the butt of many a joke over the years. Her ample assets have been the fodder for all sorts of humorous material, some of it produced by the Queen of Country herself. But Parton does have a serious side. Her marriage is part of it. Needless to say, she and her husband of 55 years have done what it takes to stay together.

In a recent interview, the 76-year-old country singer was convinced to talk a little bit about her love life. Despite she and husband Carl both being in their seventies, the two remain active. Parton was not afraid to share that she likes to dress up for her husband. There is a lesson in that.

1.              Giving Her Best Effort

In explaining why she dresses up for her husband, Parton went on to explain how she makes the effort to look her best whenever she goes out in public. She believes that this is important. Her fans expect to see someone who is well put together. They do not expect to see a “slouch”, as Parton put it. She loves her fans, and she is happy to give them what they want.

Likewise for Parton’s husband. At home, she dresses in a way that pleases her husband. She makes the effort to make sure he is happy. Therein lies the lesson.

It has been said that the difference between love and lust is one’s mindset. If you are so inclined, you could say it is one’s heart attitude. Either way, the principle is fairly consistent.

Lust is pleasure oriented. As such, it is self-centered. A person who operates exclusively on lust is acting selfishly. On the other hand, genuine love puts the other person first. It is less self-centered, if at all. Love carries on even when the passion of lust fades away.

2.              The Key to Healthy Relationships

The biggest lesson the rest of us can learn from Dolly Parton is the attitude that makes her marriage work. We can clearly see that the key to their marriage is the mindset they have toward one another and their relationship.

These days, we are likely to hear relationship experts tell us how we need to take care of ourselves first. They tell us that we need to love ourselves; that we need to have ample ‘me time’; that we have to establish a healthy self-love before we can love others. But all this talk of self runs contrary to what true love really is.

3.              Selfishness Ruins Relationships

The problem with the whole self-love concept is this: obsessing over oneself leaves very little room to truly love someone else. And when a person does try to love someone else, selfishness may still be the motive. The experts at Relationships & More describe it as falling in love with being in love rather than experiencing genuine love for another human being.

There is also the mistaken notion that trying to make someone else happy is to give up your own identity in the process. But if you truly love someone, why would you not want that person to be happy? Why would you not be willing to do whatever you could to guarantee that person’s happiness?

Parton and her husband are living proof that couples can stay together for a lifetime. They are an example of what it means to truly love. If that is not your thing, fine. But if you want a partner with whom you can enjoy genuine love for the rest of your life, learn a lesson from the Queen of Country.